An Application I Wrote Before

This is an application essay I wrote years ago when I was applying to school. I haven’t changed a single word, not even the odd phrasing or grammar slips, because I want to preserve the voice of who I was back then, not even 20, still figuring things out but already carrying this dream. I share it now as a reminder of why I’m on this path, and as a way of saying sorry to my younger self, who once thought she should give up on becoming a filmmaker. The only thing I’d change today: I don’t think I want to live a life like in a movie anymore, but I do still want to live a life making movies.)

At the age of 16, I changed my original clear life path. I decided with full respect from my parents. I gave up the Chinese college entrance examination, chose to study abroad and began to write.

My mother has been engaged in the media profession for more than 20 years. She teaches me how to look at others and the world with objective and well-intentioned eyes and care about social development. She encourages me to write one article a day. Thus, before I study abroad, I wrote more than 600 articles with various themes, which opened the door of writing for me and made me yearn for unknown fields like technology, arts, and etc.

During that period, I also wrote a lot of film reviews and thoughts about American, Chinese and Indian films. I find that I am particularly fond of documentaries, but there are only a few excellent documentaries in China.

Once, I attended the premiere of Soul on A String (2016) and had the honor to communicate with the director, Zhang Yang. Using his time for dinner, I finished the film review of this film. He read my review and gave it good reviews and encouragement. He reposted the article in his social media, and the other producers also gave me a lot of encouragement.

I like movies and I like to see the world from different perspectives. Thus, I think 'why not use movies as a medium to express my ideas?' The experience of writing hundreds of days let me focus on the daily news. Because of this insistence, I find that many social problems are not paid enough attention to, even selectively ignored by society.

The scripts I want to write and the movies I want to make will aim at directly revealing the social malpractice and the ugliness of human nature. At the same time, I also want to emphasize that I don't just want people to judge the dark side of society. I want to make works to shock indifference, resolve hatred and bring beauty and positive energy. I hope that making films for phenomena and problems such as network violence, mental illness, unequal distribution between the rich and the poor, and groups eager for quick success and instant profits, the film industry will help the audience to pay attention to more social issues. Artists have the power to participate in change, and the key lies in whether they are willing to do it or not.

I will not blindly emphasize the tragedy. The most valuable creation is to let people see hope and find a way out in the heaviness. Therefore, I need to receive more professional guidance and strive to enrich my thinking ability and the ability to tell good stories. The way I choose is to let myself have the dream and power to change reality.

I also hope to make excellent documentary films. Once I made a documentary about this cultural treasure and world cultural heritage, Dazu Rock Carvings, with an immature method when I was a volunteer there. Although the documentary is not even a perfect work, the charm of culture has been shown in the video. When I linger in the ancient palaces in Europe, I always hope that one day, through the camera, I can make a profound explanation to present the differences between Eastern and Western cultures and the pursuit of beauty by human beings. Both Eastern and Western cultures have their uniqueness. People should have more understandings and recognition of cultures to reduce conflicts and promote integration. I even think this is my mission as a filmmaker, I will have the opportunity to realize my value in the best and most vivid way. Every time I think of my dream, I get excited.

I want to use my work to let the world hear my voice. And I want to live like a movie story.

I am impressed by the words of two filmmakers.

One is the photographer of Soul on A String (2016). He told me: before making this movie, I don't believe that the movie is made for future generations. After reading your movie reviews, I firmly believe that the mission of being an artist is to influence the future of mankind.

Another is Herzog's words to the director of The Act of Killing (2012): Art can't bring about change the world, but some works can.

I firmly believe that I can create living and impactful works, as long as I persevere.